Don't trip alone!

5-MeO-DMT is by far the strongest Entheogen known to man. It is important to know that consuming this compound by yourself can be extremely dangerous. Firstly, it is known that during the experience people can stop breathing without noticing it. And secondly, if vomiting takes place, you must be rolled over on your left side, to prevent choking while laying on your back. It is, therefore, fundamental to have someone watching over you.

Don't trip alone!

5-MeO-DMT is by far the strongest Entheogen known to man. It is important to know that consuming this compound by yourself can be extremely dangerous. Firstly, it is known that during the experience people can stop breathing without noticing it. And secondly, if vomiting takes place, you must be rolled over on your left side, to prevent choking while laying on your back. It is, therefore, fundamental to have someone watching over you.

My First Bufo Experience

Being in the realm of plant medicines and consciousness exploration for the better part of a decade has taken me to some amazing places, both geographically and mentally. The most recent milestone in my path was earlier this month at Kumankaya in Mexico. I was initially invited to a retreat with a focus on working with Ayahuasca, for which I was overdue a cosmic spit-polish anyway, but my interest piqued and I registered with gusto once I learned we would also be working with Bufo.


As a fan of Joe Rogan's podcast, I was aware of 5-MeO-DMT, though it turns out, I was also largely uninformed. I'd had limited experience with nn-DMT in the past and was very curious to experience 5meo. Six weeks and a dieta later and I'm in the jungle working heavily with Ayahuasca. I had clear intentions and specific work to be done, but I had no idea what to expect with the Bufo ceremonies, and subsequently shuffled them to the back of my brain and focused on the familiarity of other plant medicines. Going into the first Bufo ceremony, I was nervous and excited in a very good way. Fortunately, I had a facilitator (Remi) that had strongly gained my trust over the prior few nights. He assured me I was in a safe place and gave me a confident smile that seemed to imply "relax, you're going to enjoy this." As I try to do with all psychedelic experiences, I focused on complete and total surrender to the medicine. I give the molecule my complete confidence and trust to show me what I need to see. It's been a beautiful learning process that helps me understand that I essentially have little to no control over every aspect of my life, but I try to be like Elsa from the movie Frozen and just "Let it Go." Trust in the process. Trust in life. Let go.


A lot of what I'd read and exposed myself to while attempting to educate myself on 5-MeO-DMT was frighteningly misleading, at least compared to my experience. My first dose didn't burn quite right and I received a very gentle, smaller hit (~7mg?) which brought on deeply serene feelings of calm, peace, unity, and self-acceptance. It was absolutely beautiful. All of the other participants that day got to that same place and enjoyed it as much as I did, and chose to go no further. But I knew this wasn't "it" quite yet. I could go deeper. So, further, I went. The facilitator knew I wanted more medicine. Like a pair of Jedi knights, we made eye contact and simply nodded, both knowing what needed to be done, and another dose (~15mg?) was administered. Hooooly shit. I've heard a lot of folks claim that at this point they start thinking, "oops. I fucked up. I think I just killed myself." Knowing this thought process was a possibility certainly aided me in letting go of everything and trusting in the process, but to be frank I never had any fearful thoughts. It was a massive shift in consciousness, exponentially more powerful than ANYTHING I had experimented with in the past, but the blasting-off process could only be described as gentle, calm, and peaceful. I dissolved rapidly, molecule by molecule into the great unity.


*OK, disclaimer here... As you are all well versed, I probably don't need to say this, but I'm going to describe something that words simply cannot describe. It's the psychedelic paradox :) But I'll still attempt, I just don't particularly enjoy it because oftentimes dots get connected that shouldn't, and things get conflated while trying to measure and define something that simply can't be put on a scale. Disclaimer aside, on with the show...


My consciousness dissolved into everything. I was everything, and everything was me. Divine unity, cosmic consciousness, ego death, the great singularity all these terms completely embrace my experience, but how do I convey further? How do you describe the color red to a blind man? My breath was the air blowing through the trees, but then again who needs breath when you don't have a body, let alone lungs requiring oxygen. Separation wasn't a possibility, the universe existed as one. I was no longer anything in particular, yet everything at once... Best said, I simply WAS. I more easily than ever let my mind stop thinking and just witnessed. I was only love. Everything was a beauty. Everything was (and remains!) perfect exactly as it is. All the things we label as good and bad, beautiful and ugly, pleasant and horrid, were all perfect, exactly as they were. How could they not be? There is only perfect beauty, only love. I am perfect beauty, I am love. Then I went away for about five minutes. Could've been a few months or a lifetime but it felt like a few seconds. I didn't go anywhere or see anything, I simply stopped existing. No memories, nothing but calm. Shortly thereafter, I began slowly returning to my body. I have a body? Wait, I'm real! I forgot, I exist! Oh yeah, I forgot I have hands too! My hands are amazing. LIFE is amazing..... Still feeling the intense perfection from the peak of the Bufo experience and remembering that feeling, knowing it's still here (and there, and everywhere) and always will be, I felt at home. I felt like I suddenly remembered the simplest thing that I had somehow forgotten, how silly of me! This life! THIS GORGEOUS FUCKING LIFE! I had tears pouring down my cheeks (I'm actually crying writing this remembering how lucky I am to have experienced what I saw and felt, and how lucky I am to be alive) in pure gratitude for the gift of life. I was repeating "thank you, thank you, thank you" as each small part of me came back into existence, so grateful to be a part of this amazingly insane and insanely amazing life.


Then I did it all again a few days later and it was just as blissful I'm having difficulty expressing how impactful all of this was for me. I was essentially reborn for lack of a better word. April 6th, 2021 is my new birthday, I'll be three weeks old next week, I have an excuse for being bald again! All kidding aside, this was the most important experience of my life. It was the closest thing I can relate to a religious awakening, a spiritual rebirth. I've struggled since 4th grade with depression, escalating later in life to the point where I needed to be medicated and consult therapists. There is nothing wrong with that, do what you need to do to be happy! But, all my years of therapy and the litany of pills I've consumed pale in comparison to the benefits I've received from working with plant medicines. And now, my experience with Bufo was exponentially more powerful than all the prior work I've done. There were certainly specific intentions for me at the retreat, but the overarching theme for me with these experiences is always to improve my mental health. That's why I attend the retreats, that's why I work with psychedelics at home, I enjoy the trip but it's always about self-improvement, education, growth, and therapy.


The therapeutic experience I had for 20 - 30 minutes was profoundly impactful, my words will never do it justice. Combatting depression led me to a spiritual path. Continuing down that path has always been driven by 1) the desire to do better as a human, and 2) to awaken to the Truth. I realize it may sound pompous, but I'm just being honest, but attaining enlightenment has always been a high aspiration of mine. It's a goal I always considered out of my reach, but well, aim high I guess. All of the different religions I've studied, the texts I've devoured, the books, the crystals, the breathwork, the singing bowls and tuning forks, the yoga, the cold showers... most of it was interesting, some of it was very beneficial, some of it was peddled by phony gurus trying to make a buck, but ALL of it was done in the name of achieving a higher state of consciousness. *PLEASE UNDERSTAND: I am making no claims to be enlightened! Not even close. But I feel like I've finally had that glimpse behind the curtain. I've snuck a peek at where I came from and where I'm eventually heading, and its perfection. Nearly everything I ponder gains clarity when I filter it through my new lens of unity. So, while I've never claimed to be awakened, or even in the process of waking up, I feel like I finally broke through the nonsense and I'm beginning to wipe the sleep from my eyes. I also understand that now is when the real work begins. Which brings me to today. Meditation helps, ceremonially consumed cannabis helps a lot too, but I'm having difficulties with integrating my Bufo experience with life back home. With my Aya experiences, there is a clear lesson and it's easy to decipher how to work on integrating that into "normal life", but this experience was so different I'm not sure how to make sure I respectfully learn and integrate, and continue to ride this wave as long as possible. As I mentioned, meditation and cannabis help get me back to "that place" which I know I can focus and access anytime beautiful stuff. But the experience here was so impactful and profound, I'm almost scared that I'm going to somehow miss the point. This was too important to mess up it would be disrespectful to NOT have this be life-changing in the long term. I know there's always a buzz when you return from a retreat, and if you don't focus, you can easily lose it and go back to your old ways.... almost like an addict coming home from rehab and jumping back into the old habits. I'm confident that I won't mess this up, it was too powerful, I'm not going to spoil it, but I would still appreciate some guidance on how to integrate and continue to work with this medicine. In conjunction, I'm going to start booking my next visit to Remi!


Thanks for reading, it was fun to write this all down.
Big hugs,
Jake Krohn.

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